"He must become greater; I must become less.” (John 3:30, NIV)
This is a blog post I will never share to social media. If anyone finds and reads it, it will be because the Holy Spirit directs them here.
Dear Jesus,
I am writing this to you to let you know that you are enough for me. More than enough. But I have thought more of myself and what others think of me than about what pleases you. I'm sorry.
I have spent the past ten years writing books and sharing devotionals. In vain I even attempted launching a speaking ministry. The novelty of all that wore off a long time ago because, if I am honest, I have grown weary of checking my Facebook and other social media posts to see if what I feel compelled to write and share really matters. Why should it matter to me if anything I write makes a difference in someone else's life?
In a week I am going off the social media grid, embarking on a technology fast to heighten my sensitivity to your voice and the leading of your Holy Spirit. This will enable me to focus on learning the responsibilities of my new job and compile a book of devotionals as a gift to Mom. Whether or not it gets published for anyone else's eyes to read will be up to you.
When I consider my life and all the blessings it holds, I am humbled. I don't deserve the home we live in, the car I drive, or the job that you just gave me. I don't deserve your mercy or forgiveness, and I certainly don't deserve being used by you to accomplish your purposes, but I am SO grateful!
Because of the pandemic and racial tensions of 2020, this year has been awful, but in the past few months of isolation you have been ever-present with me. You have answered many prayers and brought me into a new season of service and ministry. You know the frustrations I have experienced the past few years and you are handling them by orchestrating changes that will result in greater joy and purpose. I receive every day, every challenge, and every blessing as gifts from your hands.
With one breath, one lightning strike, one tragic accident you could remove every source of joy and blessing in my life, but you cannot remove yourself. Lord, you are everything to me and I am holding onto you with both hands! As long as I have you, there really is nothing else I need.
Lord, continue to teach me your word and your ways. Continue to shape my desires to be in line with your will. Give me the courage to become invisible so that you may shine brighter in my life.
I am tired -- so very tired -- of trying to impress people. Help me to live my life with my eyes set on you alone. I cannot live unto myself, but until I can fully see you I will flounder in my ministry to others. Let everything good in me be an overflow of your abundant goodness and grace. And when I mess up and revert to my old ways, as it is in my human nature to do, gently and swiftly remind me of this prayer.
Lord, I love you more than anyone will ever know!
Dee Dee
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