I've been up since about 4 a.m. I have a love-hate relationship with sleep. When I am utterly exhausted and finally able to take one of those drool-in-your-sleep naps I usually awake refreshed and content. But when the sound of my husband's CPAP awakes me in the middle of the night, or he pokes me and says, "Roll over, you're snoring," I can pretty much write off any sleep for the rest of the night. Unlike him, I am not able to roll over and go back to sleep easily.
We live in a small 3-bedroom house. Don't get me wrong -- I love my home and am thankful for it. But there have been many times in the past year that I have yearned for a room of my own, where I can sleep without being interrupted by the late-night television viewing of my night-owl son or ticking clocks or noisy sleep machines. On a recent overnight stay with my brother-in-law and his wife, I reveled in the luxury of being the only guest in the guest room, which was comfortably furnished and oh so quiet.
So here I am, already tired from having been awake two hours earlier than I should have been, writing about nothing. It is at these times that I question God. Why is it so difficult for me to sleep? What can I do differently to ensure a better night's rest? Is there some divine purpose in my insomnia? Some inspirational bestseller to write in the still, quiet hours when I should be sleeping?
I'm curious. What do other people do when they can't sleep? Sometimes I pray. Occasionally I write. But most of the time I just wonder why God created us with the need to sleep when it is obviously something my body doesn't do well. I think I spend more energy fighting sleep than I save actually getting any.
I suppose I shoud be thankful for insomnia and receive it as the gift of God's undivided attention when the rest of the world is sleeping. What do you think might happen if all the insomniacs out there turned their sleepless hours into prayerful ones? Think we could have a hand in changing God's world?
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