Saturday, October 11, 2014

The Struggle to Trust

"I don't trust you, Lord."  I have actually said those words to God, on many occasions in fact.  Wounding the heart of the God who created me and gave his Son to die for my sins is not something I enjoy.  Yet, I still struggle to trust him in one particular area of my life -- finances -- even though he has demonstrated his faithfulness to provide for my family and me time and time again.

God's Word has more to say about money than just about any other subject.  He promises to supply all our needs (Philippians 4:19, Matthew 6:25-34), to give to us as we give to others (Matthew 6:38), and to bless us when we are obedient in our giving (Malachi 3:8-12).  If God cannot lie, then why do I struggle to trust him in this one area of my life?

Perhaps my struggle to trust God comes as the result of focusing on the waves rather than the One who calms the seas.  When the car breaks down or the dog gets sick and I have to divert funds to those emergencies rather than to the creditors who expect their payments on time, I am quick to withhold from God what is rightfully his so I can still manage to feed my family, put gas in my car, and keep the bill collectors off my back. I manage my money under the premise that I can't afford to give to my Provider when in fact, I can't afford not to.

For the first three months we lived in our new home I was unemployed. Bills stacked up. Our aging cars broke down and required repairs. We stopped giving.  After all, God has all he needs so why should he miss what little we had to offer, right? But withholding our tithe and using that cash to fund repairs, buy groceries, and keep the lights on didn't keep us from having an empty fridge, riding on fumes, or feeling the despair of just making it to payday. And not giving deprived me of the joy of knowing that God could take my little to make much of his Son in the lives of others.

Obedience, especially in the area of finances, is not for sissies.  Without faith it is impossible to please God.  But with faith and trust in the One who holds true to the promises of his Word, there is hope and adventure and the sheer joy of walking in obedience.

I am tired of not trusting God.  I am tired of feeling like a spiritual failure everytime I write a check to pay a credit card bill for something I never needed in the first place when there are people in genuine need who can benefit from my giving.  From now on I will trust God.  I will give and tithe as Scripture requires and watch for the blessings to unfold in my life, however he chooses to send them.  I will repay my debts as God provides and teach my children God's money principles so they get it right from the start.

Not trusting God is not the answer to our financial struggles.  Obedience in giving, is. God blesses each of us to be a blessing to others.  Truly, it is more blessed to give than to receive!

Copyright © 2014 by Dee Dee Wike. All rights reserved.


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