Friday, November 30, 2012

Wistful Thinking

Sometimes solitude can be a very good thing, especially at the end of a stressful work week or the beginning of a new adventure.  Time alone with God and my thoughts allows me to sort through painful experiences or ponder plans for something better.  Tonight I have done a little of both.

After nearly six months of "underemployment" my husband has been offered a full-time job, which he will start soon.  I am nearing the end of a season of temporary work, with my contract expiring in just a few weeks.  Changes are ahead for both of us, positive changes that will hopefully bring an end to some of the anxiety that we have felt and enable us to pay forward the kindnesses that have been shown to us over and over during this season of financial stress.

I have also thought about relationships that have been such a source of joy and anguish for me through the years.  Remembering what it feels like to lose good friends, whether by death or distance, and the mistakes I have made in many of my relationships only makes me cherish my loved ones more.  God has been so gracious to me.  Even in allowing me to love so deeply that it hurts, He has shown me just a hint of the depth of His love for me and demonstrated His faithfulness and devotion to me even when I have loved Him with a divided heart.

In my seasons of need and loneliness God has drawn me close and proved His sufficiency over and over and over again.  There is no one I love more than Him!

No matter what happens tomorrow or next week or next year, I know that I will be okay because God has promised never to leave or forsake me.  With that kind of assurance from a God who is personal and intimately acquainted with all my ways, forgiving me even when I am at my worst, how can I feel anything but joy?  When I become fretful, wistful, and melancholy, I have only to remember the One who knows my thoughts and tell Him, "I love and trust You, Jesus," knowing that He loves me in return and trusts me enough to carry the burdens He allows so that the faith of others may be strengthened and their love for Him, rekindled.

Copyright © 2012 by Dee Dee Wike. All rights reserved.


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